What I've realized about this blog, as of yesterday, is that it mostly only gets updated when I go through a life change, which is why it is so sporadically updated. "Girl on a Street Bench" has really become my sounding board for those changes and how I cope with them. Changes are harder for some more than others, I used to be one who feared change and resisted it until I realized how much I've grown and developed from it. This blog was created because of extreme changes this summer, after my first real "heartbreak", after moving to my studio apartment to live on my own for the first time and after starting my first full-time job. Those changes coming at me all at once were a little too much for me to handle, but that's when I realized that writing was my outlet and more so, public writing.
So, with that, welcome to my first week of my newest change, my second full-time job, a complete 180 degree turn from what I was doing to nannying. I decided to take this leap after many months of being unhappy with my last position at the Y. It was not a decision that I made easily and had been thought about many times during my short time at the Y. Ultimately, I decided to take the time to find out what I really wanted to do with my life and how I wanted to live it and temporarily nannying will help me accomplish this. I will return to school in Fall 2018 to begin earning my second degree, Doctor of Physical Therapy.
I am extremely excited for this new chapter in my life. I have an uphill battle to fight, but I've suited up and I'm ready to defeat it. Gaining therapy observation hours, taking the GREs, completing college essays, and then when that's all over, going to school full time for three years will not always be fun, but it will be worth it. And in the end, that's what is important to me, making myself and my life worth it.
Saturday, January 28, 2017
Sunday, January 22, 2017
Marinating in Meditation
We, as humans, get caught up. We get busy in our everyday lives, in the so called "whirlwind". We forget what is important to us. We tell ourselves we'll get to it later because we don't have time or we don't make the time. We live everyday jamming as many activities as we can without time for reflection on our lives and on the lives that we touch. Today, after a bit of a shock to my "whirlwind", I realized that I had been "caught up".
I have always been a spiritual person, believing in a greater power and wanting to get more in touch with myself whether that be through prayer, yoga or meditation. I truly believe that I have some control over my choices and decisions in my life, but at the same time I believe someone has already mapped out my life and while I may take different turns, everything happens exactly how it is supposed to happen at exactly the right time. But recently, I had forgotten to just breathe and live and be satisfied and was trying to control my life, being selfish in what I desire and not what the universe desires for me.
Luckily or not so luckily, depending on how you look at it, a challenging morning was able to snap me out of that "whirlwind" and allowed me to focus on myself and realign with my beliefs. While I've had plenty of time by myself, I haven't taken time for myself and for self-reflection. So, this afternoon, I took four hours by myself for self-reflection and meditation. Four hours without any distractions to empty all the negative energy out of my body, to look at the person I've been lately and to remind myself of my ultimate goal in life, inner peace.
In those four hours, I was able to relocate my zen (which had been the most off kilter lately). To find my inner peace. To remember the person that I want to strive to be everyday: loving, caring, understanding, full of joy. To remind myself that you have to "Let go, and Let God". My suggestion to you, dear reader, is to take the same time for yourself, you might be surprised on what you find when you are done. I'm leaving this day and this blog feeling a little more blessed with what I have in my life, a little more open to what may happen in the future and a little more loved by myself for who I am and what I stand for. And at the end of the day, that is all I can really ask for.
I have always been a spiritual person, believing in a greater power and wanting to get more in touch with myself whether that be through prayer, yoga or meditation. I truly believe that I have some control over my choices and decisions in my life, but at the same time I believe someone has already mapped out my life and while I may take different turns, everything happens exactly how it is supposed to happen at exactly the right time. But recently, I had forgotten to just breathe and live and be satisfied and was trying to control my life, being selfish in what I desire and not what the universe desires for me.
Luckily or not so luckily, depending on how you look at it, a challenging morning was able to snap me out of that "whirlwind" and allowed me to focus on myself and realign with my beliefs. While I've had plenty of time by myself, I haven't taken time for myself and for self-reflection. So, this afternoon, I took four hours by myself for self-reflection and meditation. Four hours without any distractions to empty all the negative energy out of my body, to look at the person I've been lately and to remind myself of my ultimate goal in life, inner peace.
In those four hours, I was able to relocate my zen (which had been the most off kilter lately). To find my inner peace. To remember the person that I want to strive to be everyday: loving, caring, understanding, full of joy. To remind myself that you have to "Let go, and Let God". My suggestion to you, dear reader, is to take the same time for yourself, you might be surprised on what you find when you are done. I'm leaving this day and this blog feeling a little more blessed with what I have in my life, a little more open to what may happen in the future and a little more loved by myself for who I am and what I stand for. And at the end of the day, that is all I can really ask for.
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