The Beginning

First blog post. Here goes nothing.

I decided a few weeks ago that I needed a new hobby. I wanted something creative and one that would give me a challenge. Since I have never been known to be an open person I thought that this would give me the perfect chance to share my inner workings with my readers and friends and keep those who I no longer see as often updated on my life.

I'm a 23-year-old (girl? lady? woman? haven't decided yet) who decided to take a small plunge into adulthood and move into a studio apartment in Wayne about a month ago away from my childhood home. It has been a roller coaster of emotions since. 

Let's focus on the ups first. The town itself has been amazing and I am glad to be spending a year here. I have everything I need within walking distance or a short five minute drive, including some really great running trails. My apartment, while small, is all me. My decorations, my music and no one to judge me when I rock out to Beyonce in my underwear (that's probably the best part). I have also found my favorite spot in town, where the inspiration for my blog title comes. It's a bench three or so blocks from my apartment, up off the main street, but close enough to satisfy my people watching needs. It's peaceful and the only other way to describe it is ... magical. Somehow an hour on that bench eases all worries and I always leave it sparkling a little brighter! Unfortunately, my computer does not have the life in it anymore to stay alive for any longer than 20 minutes, so, while no, I will not be updating this blog from that bench, it is where I'll be finding the most insight.

So, I told you it's been a roller coaster, but so far I've only given you the upward bounds of the newest chapter in my book. Don't be fooled, there have been plenty of dips where I've been hanging on for dear life (okay, maybe that's a little exaggerated). Having my own space has been great, but there's always that sinking feeling I get when I come home from a run or work or any errand and realize no one's there to share my experience with, even if it is just to tell them that it is way too hot outside. Don't get me wrong, I know the people I love are only a phone call away, but it's not the same. Binge watching Netflix shows without a roommate to sit next to you and laugh with tends to get a little lonely. I've been countering that with trying to keep myself extremely busy. I am not usually the "out and always about" girl, but I've been jumping at every opportunity this month to do whatever with whoever and it takes the sting away a little. I've lived away from my childhood home before, but leaving this time was different because I know I don't plan on going back and leaving my dogs is never easy.

I think the biggest change in me throughout this transitional period has been my acceptance that it is okay to not be okay. Before this month, I claimed that I didn't know how to be sad and I continued along that path by never putting myself in situations where I knew I would get hurt. Well, I took a chance, I got hurt, it sucked, but I am so grateful. I learned that you don't get to choose when you feel sad, no one can decide how much pain they think they may or may not have caused you and feeling that pain in whatever way you interpret it is a completely shameless emotion. I couldn't be more thankful for the people who have supported me through this beginning transition of "adulthood" (term used loosely). I can't wait to see what the following days, weeks and months bring and I hope you're excited to hear about them too.

Some pics of my new digs.